Let's Be Real ~ Your Genuine Self

(photo credit: manyfires on Flickr)

A few months ago, my 15 year old daughter played the lead role as Velveteen Rabbit, in the play of the same name. If you know the story of Velveteen... you know that it's a story about a stuffed toy bunny, becoming real. A lot of people have written about how this story is an allegory for real life. I would tend to agree with most of their writings.

Now, I'm going to be real. I don't find it so hard to do... anymore. But some people do not accept me because I am real. You see... being non-real or fake {as some call it}.... means that you do not tell people how you really feel. Why? Well... fear! Fear of loosing the security of having people around them. It's also denying yourself of reality. It only seems comfortable... but really it's not!

Jesus was real! He didn't have to be fake... and He had crowds of people around Him... well until the end anyway... but He was always real to those people. I'm sure He felt lonely at times... especially at the end. Judas was not real. But Jesus knew His Father would never forsake Him! And He knew He was here for a purpose... just like each and everyone of us. We just have to learn to be real.

Both sides of my family {by blood and by marriage} have not accepted my realness. Or maybe it's me not accepting their fakeness {is that a word?}! I'll just be real about that. Both sides... "play nice" to my face {and to anyone else}... with lots of hugs and "love ya"... but yet behind backs these same people are not saying nice things. I promise you it's happening. I've seen it and I've heard it. Then, when confronted with the truth... they lie and change the subject to get out of the conversation. Or they play games of blame and contempt. When I'm merely trying to resolve issues that are present in the relationships. If someone has an issue with another person or if they were hurt in someway... nothing is said... but the tension is surely felt! Nothing gets resolved and families divide. It's very frustrating. {Just being real.}

To me being real means... telling a person how you really feel. Being real means not lying about the truth. Having a conversation to come to some kind of resolution, that both can agree on. I'm not saying attack them with meaningless lies. I'm saying truly telling someone when they hurt you. I'm saying tell someone if you just don't like them. Real people can accept this... knowing they are fine with someone not liking them. I'm saying deal with issues within relationships. Because brushing them under the rug only makes things worse! Things will never get resolved in this way. And people will continue to be fake. Sad realization!

• Being real means being genuine and always truthful.

• Being real hurts sometimes.

• Being real means sharing your heart with others.

• Being real means not holding back.

• Being real is not ugly... "not to those who understand!" 

• Being real means loving yourself enough to no longer accept anything less than real from others.

• Being real allows you to encourage others who are also being real with their feelings.

• Being real helps everyone to grow in their walk with the Lord... because He wants you to be real with Him too!

Do you have trouble being real? Here are some good books to help:

Being Genuine: Stop Being Nice, Start Being Real

The Velveteen Principles (Limited Holiday Edition): A Guide to Becoming Real, Hidden Wisdom from a Children's Classic

The Velveteen Principles for Women: How to Shatter the Myth of Perfection and Embrace All That You Really Are

Book Review: 'Empty Promises' by Pete Wilson

Empty Promises: The Truth About You, Your Desires, and the Lies You're Believing

Book Description:

 

We all long for more of something in our lives. In our endless pursuit to feel worth and acceptance we find ourselves sacrificing everything for the promise to be a little more beautiful, a little richer, a little more powerful and successful, a little more loved.

How do we break free from these empty pursuits and start chasing the only Promise that will ever satisfy? How do we uncover the hidden idols that are driving us and turn our devotion toward the one true God?

Join Pastor and best-selling author Pete Wilson in discovering the joy and freedom that comes with seeking after God with your whole life. Learn how to replace, and not just relinquish, life's empty promises by turning your focus and worship toward Him. It is the only thing that will set you absolutely free from the endless pursuit of everything else.

 

My Opinion:

I love books with nuggets of knowledge, straight from the Bible, on how I should live my life or overcome struggles. Most people call these books, "Self-Help books." I think I am the queen of self-help books... because I've read so many... all Christian ones now. My friend and I joke about how we go from one self-help book to the next trying to figure out what is wrong with our lives... and learning how to grow in our walk... with the Lord.

Well, I have to say, Empty Promises has to be hands down the best book I've read, that involves all aspects of live... in a Biblical way. I may have said this before... "this is the best book" but honestly this is the best book! While I was reading it, I told my husband that he really needed to read it... and he's already started it... before I could even finish this review. So far his opinion... it's a really good book.

Pete Wilson spoke to me right away in this book... as imagine it speaks to a lot of people quite quickly. He shares how in his own life he's struggled with worshiping idols. We all do at times. We tend to worship idols because of the fact that we were born to worship. God created us to have a desire for worship. It all goes wrong when we forget to worship God, first, and start worshiping something else... which is then called an idol.

In worshiping anything, besides God, we tend to think that these things will fill us up... but they do not... so they become our empty promises. Things like acceptance, achievement, power, beauty, fame, fortune, and... yes... even religion can become an empty promise. I love the part of the book where Pete talks about... "you are what you worship." This is so true and so simple. Heck, blogging could become an idol.

I think a lot of bloggers, including myself, struggle with worshiping acceptance. It's no secret, if you've been reading my blogs for any length of time you would have read at some point about how I never felt accepted as a child. And I still wrestle with this issue in my adult life. Blogging is a way for someone to feel accepted. Most people are very nice... like you, right now by reading this review post. And almost all of the feedback I have received back, about my writing, is very positive. And as bloggers, most of us live for that positive feedback... and more followers. But in my real life... a lot of the responses {sometimes even reactions} from those closest to me... are entirely the opposite. That's a let down... almost crushing at times.

This book helped me to realize that I was looking for acceptance that only my Heavenly Father could give. I was expecting imperfect people to fill that void of nonacceptance with the love I thought I needed. Humans will fail me. God will never let me down.

The other idol... or empty promise... I struggle with is the need to have perfect children. The book I just started last night is one for parents of prodigal children {to which I am one}. Right off the bat the author debunks the myth that perfect kids come from perfect parents and bad kids come from bad parents {wow, wake up call!}. Pete Wilson talks about how we worship the idea that we must raise "beautiful, accomplished kids who make me [us] feel great and make yours [others] look inferior." [Brackets Mine] (Wilson, 2011, Pg. 31)

Don't you feel powerful, strong, and right when your kids do great? And how do you feel when they do wrong... especially if others see those wrongs or failures? Yep, that's that idol of achievement. It's an empty promise that if you do everything right, that some how you and I have power over our childrens' choices... but we don't! God gave them free will, to make their own choices... and if they choose to do something different than we parents ask or expect... that doesn't make us bad parents! That was so helpful to me right now. {More on this in my next book review.}

Lastly, I wanted to share about the empty promise of religion, that this book speaks on. The reason... because I've been writing a lot of blog posts about this subject... on this blog lately. Also, I would say that this was my favorite chapter. Pete states, on page 112, that even in the early church, "religion always adds" constraints or rules to salvation.

His examples: 

• Jesus + being immersed in water = salvation
• Jesus + doing Communion a certain way = salvation
• Jesus + voting Republican (or Democrat) = salvation
• Jesus + church membership = salvation

Get the point? "Religion not only complicates things; it also divides people." (Wilson, Pg. 113) It puts rules on what gets people into Heaven and what does not. It makes people who've made mistakes feel that they are unworthy of salvation. And that's not why Jesus came to this Earth. Which goes right back to what I've wrote about before... being a disciple for Jesus... not just a "Christian."

If you've not read this book... let me strongly suggest that you do. You can read the first chapter... on Amazon... and then get yourself a copy. Trust me... you won't be sorry on this one!

*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”*